It’s amazing how so few words can make such an impact.

I have been in therapy.  I’ve taken assertiveness training and cognitive behavioural training.  I’ve been involved in 12-step recovery for years.  I’ve been involved in various faiths and had a fairly good spiritual life.

Every single thing tells me:

  • what other people think of me is none of my business
  • don’t allow other people’s words to effect you
  • consider the source
  • be humble / compassionate to the other person and where they are
  • take it with a grain of salt
  • what does it really matter?

And most of all:

Let it go.

But then I need to also consider *my* side of things.

I’m in a lot of pain right.  Emotional, physical and spiritual.

Emotionally I’m a wreck.  I’ve been dealing with depression all my life and sometimes have periods where I have remission.  But last August it reared once again, robbing me of so many things in life, not the least of which was a brand new budding career.

Physically I have a number of chronic issues that also have remissions – but at the moment a few of them are flaring.  Not to mention a couple of brand new medical issues that showed up this week.

Spiritually I am coasting.  Because of the emotional and physical issues in my life, I have been mostly housebound and my spirituality isn’t being boosted by community, which I feel is necessary.

So yes, a simple hurtful question can take me down right now.  Deep down.